


Heartbreak Hotel

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, M/M, Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 08:26:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/796047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story #1 in the Elvis Collection.  Blair has a bad night, but it leads to some heavy thinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heartbreak Hotel

## Heartbreak Hotel

by Dante

The Sentinel and its characters do not belong to me. It (and they) are the creation of Bilson and DeMeo. No copyright infringement intended. The stories I write are for fun and everyone's enjoyment.

This is for Alyjude. Thank you for being the great writer that you are.   
Happy Birthday, Elvis.   


Each title in this series will be an Elvis song title. However, no song lyrics were harmed in the production of this story. This is not a traditional songfic as the lyrics of the songs may not have to do with the story itself. The song title is really the important part.   
Also, it is pre-slash Jim and Blair.

* * *

"Damn it, Blair, are you even with me?" 

A hand roughly squeezed his bare shoulder and Blair's eyes finally focused on the man kneeling between his legs. "Gary? What's wrong, Babe?" 

"Don't 'Babe' me, Blair," Gary returned, raking a hand through his short blond hair angrily. "We both know I'm not your 'babe'." 

Blair thought guiltily that the other man was right, but he wasn't about to confess it aloud. Instead, he sensually rubbed and kneaded the thighs under him, hoping to reclaim the mood. "Come on, Gary, this isn't the time to fight." He reached up and tweaked at one of Gary's hardened nipples. "We're in the middle of something here." 

"Fuck you, Blair!" Gary batted Blair's hand away. 

"I thought that's what you were doing," Blair returned even as he realized that the night had suddenly taken a turn for the worse. 

"No," Gary said coldly. "I'm doing the fucking. I have my dick halfway up your ass and you're totally spaced out. What is up with you?" 

Blair dropped his hands to his sides and looked away, suddenly ashamed. "Sorry, man." He whispered. "I didn't mean to space out on you. I guess, well, I started thinking about something else. Won't happen again." 

Gary grabbed Blair's chin and jerked it so that they were once again eye to eye. "You are such a fucking prick," Gary's tone was deliberately harsh. "You're lying to me and you're lying to yourself. This isn't the first time it's happened. I'm trying to make love to you and you're thinking about someone else." Pulling out of Blair, he moved off the bed. 

"Wait, Gary, don't go!" Blair sat up, knowing that his plea was useless. "I-I promise things will get better. I swear." He didn't even try to refute his bed partner's statement. He was often thinking of someone else. And every time it happened, he vowed never to do it again. It was a promise he often broke. However, that didn't mean he wouldn't fight for the man he had now. His relationship with Gary was the only thing he had. 

Gary shook his head sadly as he grabbed his pants and started putting them on. "No. I can't do this anymore." He picked up his shirt, threading his arms through the sleeves even as he looked down at Blair. "We could have had something special." 

Blair swung his legs over the edge of the bed and lunged for Gary's hand. Holding it tightly, he said desperately, "Please, man, please. We can still have something special. I'm sorry. You have to believe that. I'll fix it. I promise. Just don't leave me." 

Gary disentangled his hand and gently brushed a few strands of curly hair from Blair's face. "It's too late," he whispered. "Don't you see that? You left me." 

Blair's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "What? I don't understand. I haven't left you. I'm right here. And we can make this work. I know we can." 

The other man heaved a sigh. "We can't. It never really did work. We have sex, Blair, and you're a million miles away. I can't compete with that." Gary finished buttoning up his shirt and picked up his shoes. 

"Hold it a minute, man," Blair exclaimed, not willing to see this man walk out of his life just yet. "I'm not expecting you to compete with anything." 

Gary frowned at him, anger filling his tone. "That's bullshit and you know it. You can't tell me that every time we've shared a bed or shower together that you aren't imagining someone else in my place. For once, Blair, be honest with me...with yourself." 

Blair bit his lip, knowing the truth of his words. Still, he had to try to salvage their relationship otherwise he'd have nothing. "Look, Gary--" 

But his lover interrupted. "No, you look. Look closer to home because that's definitely where your heart is." He leaned forward and planted a kiss on Blair's forehead. "I don't regret spending the time we had together," he said softly. "But we can't do this anymore. Whatever happens, Blair, I wish you happiness." He reached for the handle of the hotel room door and looked back at Blair one last time. "Stay the night, man. The room is paid for. Take the time--and the space-- to think. Good-bye." Gary exited the hotel room, closing the door quietly behind him. 

Blair sat, stunned. He had done it again. Lost his shot at true happiness. Gary had been right. It could have been good. But, of course, he had gone and ruined it. 

Shivering suddenly, he realized he was still naked. Naked and alone. It sounded pathetic. It was pathetic. Blair sighed and tumbled back against the sheets. He just wanted someone to love him. Was that so much to ask for? Didn't he deserve love? 

"Of course you do," he answered himself out loud. "What do you think just walked out the door? Finding love isn't the problem here. It's the person I want to love me that is." 

Blair curled up into a fetal position, gathering the bedclothes around him. "You prick," he continued to speak out loud. "Gary could have been the one. You could have let him be the one." He closed his eyes and remembered the first time he had met Gary. 

It had been at a charity art auction. Blair had gone alone because Jim hadn't been able to go or just hadn't wanted to. Gary had been sitting next to him and they had ended up going for coffee afterwards. 

In the two months since their first meeting, Blair had exclusively dated Gary. Their relationship had naturally progressed and they had begun sleeping together. Since both he and Gary had had roommates, Gary had decided that they would use hotel rooms when their dates had become more intimate in nature. 

This time, though, Gary had been the first to leave when they were done for the evening. Usually, it was Blair who would take off while Gary would remain the entire night. Blair had never stayed, always having some excuse about getting up early to get to the university. Secretly, Blair just couldn't stand the thought of being away from Jim that long. Apparently, though, his attempt at subterfuge had failed. Gary had seen right through him. 

Which brought him back to his problem. 

Blair wanted Jim to love him. He'd had this desire almost since the first day they had met. It hadn't taken long for Blair to fall in love with Jim. What wasn't there to love? Despite his intimidating manner, Jim was caring and compassionate. He fought for justice, always ready to support the underdog. The victims of crime always knew they could count on the detective. His strong presence was often a balm to their wounded spirits. 

There were so many things Blair loved about Jim, but he knew he couldn't list them all. It wasn't possible. There weren't enough words in any language to do that. Blair suspected that was true in any relationship where love was present. 

Blair sighed. Jim was his best friend, his roommate, and his Sentinel. There was already so much he had been given just by being granted the privilege to know Jim. But, he was selfish. Blair wanted more. Blair wanted Jim. All of him. 

But it wasn't ever going to happen. Jim would never be interested in having that sort of relationship with Blair. 

The young man clutched a pillow to his chest. Was it because he was a man that Jim wouldn't want him? Blair wasn't sure. Jim had never discussed his sexual orientation so Blair had naturally assumed that he was heterosexual. The man had been married. Wasn't that a clue? He thought about that for a minute. No, he concluded, being married didn't mean anything. After all, Jim and Caroline had gotten divorced. And, you couldn't assume anything. 

Blair shifted, bringing the covers up to his chin. So why wouldn't Jim want him? Because he wasn't Jim's type. Compared to Jim, he was short. He also had long hair and was an academic. Blair was so completely opposite. There was no way Jim would fall in love with a 'neo-hippie, witchdoctor punk.' 

Lying in a hotel bed alone suddenly seemed appropriate to Blair. Hotel rooms had no strings. You come. You go. No personal investments made. That was how he felt. Jim didn't love him. They were just friends. And, for Blair, friendships weren't necessarily permanent. And that scared him. Maybe one of these days, Jim would cast him aside, leaving him to drift. 

Blair curled up further into himself and felt his heart break. 

End Heartbreak Hotel  
January 2003 

* * *

End Heartbreak Hotel by Dante: hellfordante@aol.com

Author and story notes above.

  
Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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